“CHRISTIAN” FOOTBALL!!

Quarterback Sneak – Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.

Half Time – The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave.

Bench warmer – Those who DO NOT sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit.

Staying in the Pocket – What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord’s work.

Two minute Warning – The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.

Trap Play – You’re called on to pray and are asleep.

End Run – Getting out of church quickly, without speaking to any visitors or fellow members.

Flex Defense – The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.

Half_back Option – The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service.

Blitz – The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.

Author Unknown

Football Christianity

Quarterback Sneak — Those who quietly exit following the Lord’s supper, a quarter of the way through the worship service, or near the last quarter of worship.

Draft Choice — Selection of seat near the back door.

Draw Play — What too many children (and a few adults) do with attendance cards.

Bench Warmer — Those whose only participation is attendance on Sunday morning.

Backfield in Motion — Making three or four trips out of the auditorium during the worship service.

Stay in the Pocket — What happens to a lot of money that should go toward the work of the church.

Two-Minute Warning — When the preacher begins extending the invitation, giving everyone time to shuffle song books and gather up belongings.

Sudden Death — When the preacher goes into overtime.

Blitz — The stampede for the doors after the dismissal prayer.

Halfback Option — When 50% of the congregation does not return on Sunday night.

Author Unknown