Football Christianity

Quarterback Sneak — Those who quietly exit following the Lord’s supper, a quarter of the way through the worship service, or near the last quarter of worship.

Draft Choice — Selection of seat near the back door.

Draw Play — What too many children (and a few adults) do with attendance cards.

Bench Warmer — Those whose only participation is attendance on Sunday morning.

Backfield in Motion — Making three or four trips out of the auditorium during the worship service.

Stay in the Pocket — What happens to a lot of money that should go toward the work of the church.

Two-Minute Warning — When the preacher begins extending the invitation, giving everyone time to shuffle song books and gather up belongings.

Sudden Death — When the preacher goes into overtime.

Blitz — The stampede for the doors after the dismissal prayer.

Halfback Option — When 50% of the congregation does not return on Sunday night.

Author Unknown